Francie Rich
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The Walken Altar

True Savior & Liberator

Oratory of the Pudiente Family

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Submit Your Supplications

Do not mumble. He hates mumbling.

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Response time varies by degree of reverence.

Sanctuary Requirements

"Strict adherence to the Pudiente family protocols is mandatory for all pilgrims."

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Canine Protocol

Bilingual Chihuahuas are explicitly welcome. Monolingual curs must wait in the vestibule until further notice.

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Olfactory Warning

The mingled aroma of cheap cologne and aged tobacco may cause incredible headaches or sudden enlightenment.

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Ocular Etiquette

Direct eye contact with the Savior's portrait is forbidden unless you have performed the dance of the "Weapon of Choice" in its entirety.

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