Our Affiliates &
Subsidiary Delusions

A curated directory of services for the discerning, the desperate, and the deceased.

Terminal D

Departures & Pizzatorium

"Putting the FUN in FUNerals"

  • • Hand-painted urn-cookie jars by John Hodge
  • • Over-the-top pizza toppings
  • • Family discounts on bulk burials
Est. 1994 Enter → local_pizza
verified_user

BTDT Insurance

"Su problema es su problema"

Agents: Mom & Pop

Reception: LuAnne

Area: Appalachia

High Risk

Pimp Your Last Ride

"Live like a thug, die like a thug"

  • check Escalade Coffins
  • check Working TVs
  • check 24" Rims
Eau de Dynel
Parfum Synthétique

Available in fine wig salons and car part chains across the tri-state area.

Notes: Plastic, Hairspray

spa
Confidential File
Top Secret

The Dossier

Helado & Pudiente Families

Sighting: Juanito's mammy costume at the masquerade.

Evidence: Chewing-gum nativity scenes.

Slackers
Inc.

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"You need it by yesterday,
come back tomorrow"

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